It’s Just Stuff

I’ve never been particularly attached to my belongings.  In fact, not unlike many of you, I too have historically fallen prey to the notion that material wealth somehow separates us from spiritual connection.   Fortunately, a little well earned life experience has allowed me to release that misnomer, but still there’s very little that I can’t live without.  Maturity has granted me the serenity to accept the things that bring me joy, courage to scrap the things that don’t and the wisdom to know the difference! (Or something like that…)

You don’t need me to tell you the disappointment that comes from just accumulating “stuff” to feed the ego or defining ourselves by what we “have” rather than who we are.  Depression in America has increased tenfold since 1989.  Our houses are getting bigger while our families are getting smaller.  Self storage units are now the second fastest growing franschise in the U.S.  We fill our homes with crap and then have to rent extra space to store our ego overflow! Despite that staggering statistic,  I’m not one of those crusaders who  thinks that having possessions is inherently a bad thing.  So, what criteria can you use to determine whether or not something (or someone) is a keeper?  Intrinsic value does not determine worth! First step is to assess how this thing (or person) makes you feel…

I was wandering a discount clothing store with my daughter a few weeks ago.  I was merely an observer while she selected some things to try on. At the risk of sounding like a martyr, I rarely shop for myself.  And I wasn’t that day.  But something caught my eye.  I walked past it several times, attempting to ignore it, but some invisible vortex kept pulling me closer. I was being seduced by an inanimate object and I was resisting with the conviction of a stubborn toddler.  And then I touched it….and it was all over!  The feel of cashmere between my fingers – and it was powder pink, my favorite color.  Then I looked at the price tag and almost swallowed my gum.  Are you kidding me? An $80 scarf at Marshall’s?! What kind of a crazy person would pay that?  I’m not gonna buy it…just put it on for a second.

When I wrapped this scarf around my neck and nuzzled my face into its luxurious softness, the strangest thing happened — I began to cry.  Totally unprovoked, huge tears started rolling down my cheeks and I knew this scarf was going home with me.  I’m still not sure what inspired such an emotional reaction.  Except that, in that moment, wrapped in luxury and the texture of the Gods, I felt cared for.  So often, we focus our energies on making sure that all those around us have their needs met.  Allowing myself to have this “thing” was  not about shopping for myself.  Saying “yes” to this scarf represented a warm, soft hug of pure unapologetic success.  And I deserved it.  So do you.

As you wander through your own environment, take a quick, non-judgmental inventory of the stuff you have around you.  Allow yourself the freedom of releasing the things that don’t inspire a positive emotional reaction.  If you don’t love it, it’s interference for the things that bring you bliss.  Whatever is in question, ask yourself, “How does it make me feel?”  Listen carefully and you can hear the sound of everything that doesn’t matter disappear.

–added from the Bliss Blog Archives